You're Hired - The Emotional Reflection After 9 Months of Unemployment

I'm sorry I've been MIA for quite some time now. As you can assume from my news story, I've been busy running around looking for a place to live / moving in. I'm almost completely moved in to a room I found on Craigslist. It's a temporary month and a half long living situation, but it will give me time to get back on my feet and into mainstream society again.

So you're probably wondering what happened after I was on the news...

The next day was kind of crazy; in addition to my parents telling everybody they ever met, I think I got some positive feedback via sudden phone calls from employers. To my surprise, a company that had turned me down on Monday called and made me an offer... imagine that.

I knew the emotional impact of being unemployed for 9 months had effected me, but I don't think I could have predicted my reaction to that phone call. I actually fell to my knees and cried in the most subtle happiness I had ever felt. All along I thought that when I finally had landed a job, I would go running down the hallway screaming at the top of my lungs, but in that moment I realized the emotion was bittersweet.

I finally was able to pinpoint my feelings when I turned off the lights and shut the door to my midtown apartment two days ago. When I had moved into the ultra urban contemporary loft last year, I thought I was on the verge of entering the lifestyle I had worked all my life for. I wanted to be a yuppie. I thought I was going to have enough money to never have to think about the balance of my checking account, and eventually be able to enjoy the luxury of success in the corporate world.

Instead, I spent more time in that apartment than I ever thought possible. There were weeks when I went 3 days without leaving and I often failed to even get dressed in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I tried everything under the sun in an effort to get a job and support myself; however, for a good 6 months, a degree in finance and limited work experience (in the eyes of employers) was probably less effective than a resume with "high school dropout" for education.

When I closed the door to my apartment for the last time, I came to understand that the lifestyle I had worked so hard for may not be suitable for me. Success is controversial; it can only be measured based on one's opinion of what adds value. Happiness is definitively personal; over the last 9 months I've learned that success is dependent on happiness, not the other way around.

While I don't know what is in store for me or where my life will take me from here. I'm going to pursue many of the cool ideas I've come up with during this time in my life. A lot of people have told me that "I lost a year," but I'm really not so sure. I definitely slowed down and spent more time thinking than doing, but at the end of my life I think that I will be able to say I accomplished more because I was able to dig deep into my soul and figure out what really mattered to me. Most importantly, I'm no longer embarassed by the fact that I was out of work for 9 months. Being unwillfully unemployed was probably the best "work experience" I ever had and I think that employers should really take the emotional journey into account. I realize that most will never be able to appreciate this experience, until of course they themselves are in the same situation, but I want to challenge myself to remember the way I'm feeling right now, right at this moment. On the surface, I can say that I will be the best employee I can be and probably be willing to go above and beyond all expectations. Deep down however, I hope I use this experience to be a better co-worker, manager, and mentor in the future. Too many people get to the "other side" and forget all the pointless interviews, rediculous applications, and corporate BS that only served them in wasting time and dwindling their confidence. From human to human, I've learned that we need to be honest with ourselves about how we treat eachother. It doesn't matter what skills or experience I may have on paper, I believe that this understanding is the foundation to real, effective, and lasting success.

An Emerging Demographic: The Super Unemployed

For as long as I live I will always remember September 25th, 2008. I left my apartment on time that morning, and was excited to finally be getting used to the 9-6 workday. The doors to our office were always locked; since we managed a private equity real estate fund, there was rarely a need to bring clients in. I should have known when my key card did not work that something was going on. I even said to the person that opened the door, "what a horrible way of telling somebody they're laid off."

Around 2:30 I tried to get a hold of my boss to discuss my research in public / private partnerships, mass transit investment, and rail related auxiliary businesses. I had been well aware that the traditional commercial real estate industry was turning, and I believed that out-of-the-box thinking today would elevate a newly successful group of people when the market came back. The reply to my email included the lines, "come to the office at 3 to discuss another matter." My fears became a reality when my boss led me into the elevator to, "talk about it upstairs." By 4pm, I was out of the office, pink slip in hand.

When I was first let go, I had a lot of support. My former boss reached out to me and made a few phone calls, I had a few interviews, and even turned away from a decent opportunity because I did not think the pay was fair. I figured my month of severance would give me time to chill out for a little while, regroup, and reposition myself in the market. Throughout the fall, as the stock market and financial industry collapsed, I realized that the niche industry I had structured the last two years of my life for was gone. My "connections" were in survival mode for their own jobs, and without a vast network of professionals across all industries, my entry-level application was becoming lost in cyberspace.

Around February I would say I made the transition from just "unemployed" to "super unemployed." When you are "super unemployed," potential employers see how long you haven't had a job for and start to wonder what is wrong with you. I never thought to count how many times I've filed for my weekly unemployment check, but I've learned to fear the day that I get a letter saying, "you have expended all of your unemployment compensation benefits and extended unemployment compensation benefits." I realized I was a member of the "super unemployed" when I came to the decision that I would take a steady position that paid half the salary of my former job. When I went through my "snagajob" phase, I soon discovered that employers like McDonalds, Target, Wal-Mart, Taco Bell, and Toys R' Us, did not even consider applicants with a Bachelors degree from Emory University. I was told so many times that I was "over qualified" and "would leave once a better opportunity emerged" that I started replying with, "if you see me on the side of the road someday, you better put a dollar in my cup." At this point I've been unemployed for 8 months; how many months do employers expect to keep a minimum wage worker on staff?

You know you are a member of the "super unemployed" when you stop going to career fairs. I went to 4 or 5 before I became discouraged and stopped looking out for them. After 4 or 5 career fairs I had recieved no interviews and racked up about $30 in parking fees. There is nothing more frustrating than going to a career fair and having a representative tell you to apply online. To me this is a mockery of the unemployed and the value of our time.

About 2 months ago I tried to start an online based business with 3 other people. There was an Angel Investor program looking to fund 8 - 10 start-ups over the summer, so I took the lead in drafting a preliminary business plan. Our team got a final round interview but we were not selected. Realizing the potential of our idea and the opportunity of 4 unemployed people pooling their efforts, I was willing to work on the business full time over the summer. This is where I learned the final characteristic of what it really means to be "super unemployed." My teamates had alternatives; they had a backup place to live, another possible option, or alternative source of income. They were willing to work on the project, but only part-time. For me, having food to eat and a place to sleep was enough of a motivator to keep me working 80 hours a week if necessary. When starting a business, you go hard or go home; this business wasn't going to work out.

So my mission here is to bring to light the emerging group of people I would like to classify as "super unemployed." I would never wish upon anybody to "walk a mile in our shoes" or "spend a day sitting on our couch," but I hope that people can appreciate the strength of those who have waken up every day for months asking themselves, "what is my life's business plan?" I can't wait to answer that question; I will be the best employee for the lucky company that gives me a chance.