Move over Iran and Farrah Fawcett... Michael Jackson is Dead!

Okay, I know I'm going to instigate some emotion here but . . . I really don't care that about Michael Jackson's death. First of all, he was one fucked up dude who looked like he's been borrowing time for years. He spent the last portion of his life in very questionable company, and whether or not he assaulted little boys, his relationships with them were inappropriate.

Farrah Fawacett died this morning after a long and courageous battle with cancer. It didn't take much to be a "better person" than Michael Jackson, but Farrah was the real deal and it is sad that her story will take a back seat to one of the weirdest people who ever lived.

In retrospect, I think that national news stations should really be focusing on the revolutionary uprisings in Iran. When you really think about it, what is happening in the Middle East right now can only affect a few hundred million people. Some people can argue the importance of North Korea's threat, but I honestly think that Kim Jong-Il needs to realize that the rest of the world considers him valuable for only entertainment purposes. I must admit that the first two thoughts that come to mind on Kimg Jong-Il are "small penis" and "major insecurity issues."

So when you're watching the posthumous glorification of Michael Jackson on CNN tonight, consider what is really going to effect you in the future. I'm not going to be wasting any of my time convincing myself that this man was any sort of role model. Yes, he was an amazing child star and his influence on pop music will forever be remembered; but in this historic time we must do our due diligence on what really matters.

You're Hired - The Emotional Reflection After 9 Months of Unemployment

I'm sorry I've been MIA for quite some time now. As you can assume from my news story, I've been busy running around looking for a place to live / moving in. I'm almost completely moved in to a room I found on Craigslist. It's a temporary month and a half long living situation, but it will give me time to get back on my feet and into mainstream society again.

So you're probably wondering what happened after I was on the news...

The next day was kind of crazy; in addition to my parents telling everybody they ever met, I think I got some positive feedback via sudden phone calls from employers. To my surprise, a company that had turned me down on Monday called and made me an offer... imagine that.

I knew the emotional impact of being unemployed for 9 months had effected me, but I don't think I could have predicted my reaction to that phone call. I actually fell to my knees and cried in the most subtle happiness I had ever felt. All along I thought that when I finally had landed a job, I would go running down the hallway screaming at the top of my lungs, but in that moment I realized the emotion was bittersweet.

I finally was able to pinpoint my feelings when I turned off the lights and shut the door to my midtown apartment two days ago. When I had moved into the ultra urban contemporary loft last year, I thought I was on the verge of entering the lifestyle I had worked all my life for. I wanted to be a yuppie. I thought I was going to have enough money to never have to think about the balance of my checking account, and eventually be able to enjoy the luxury of success in the corporate world.

Instead, I spent more time in that apartment than I ever thought possible. There were weeks when I went 3 days without leaving and I often failed to even get dressed in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I tried everything under the sun in an effort to get a job and support myself; however, for a good 6 months, a degree in finance and limited work experience (in the eyes of employers) was probably less effective than a resume with "high school dropout" for education.

When I closed the door to my apartment for the last time, I came to understand that the lifestyle I had worked so hard for may not be suitable for me. Success is controversial; it can only be measured based on one's opinion of what adds value. Happiness is definitively personal; over the last 9 months I've learned that success is dependent on happiness, not the other way around.

While I don't know what is in store for me or where my life will take me from here. I'm going to pursue many of the cool ideas I've come up with during this time in my life. A lot of people have told me that "I lost a year," but I'm really not so sure. I definitely slowed down and spent more time thinking than doing, but at the end of my life I think that I will be able to say I accomplished more because I was able to dig deep into my soul and figure out what really mattered to me. Most importantly, I'm no longer embarassed by the fact that I was out of work for 9 months. Being unwillfully unemployed was probably the best "work experience" I ever had and I think that employers should really take the emotional journey into account. I realize that most will never be able to appreciate this experience, until of course they themselves are in the same situation, but I want to challenge myself to remember the way I'm feeling right now, right at this moment. On the surface, I can say that I will be the best employee I can be and probably be willing to go above and beyond all expectations. Deep down however, I hope I use this experience to be a better co-worker, manager, and mentor in the future. Too many people get to the "other side" and forget all the pointless interviews, rediculous applications, and corporate BS that only served them in wasting time and dwindling their confidence. From human to human, I've learned that we need to be honest with ourselves about how we treat eachother. It doesn't matter what skills or experience I may have on paper, I believe that this understanding is the foundation to real, effective, and lasting success.

TEMP JOB - LOST UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS

Bret Michaels Wipes Out at Tony's

RICK SANCHEZ of CNN OWNS BILL O'REILLY of FOX NEWS

I was going to write a blog about this but I found a great article that featured both videos with commentary. Please see, its AWESOME!

CNN’s Rick Sanchez Gets “Rare” Correction From Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly

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Texts From Last Night

(404): last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.

404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
(1-404): Two?
(404): Two.

(404): FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
(1-404): haha good one..how did you even know?
(404): we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

(404): Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

(404): I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
(610): can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
(1-610): who is canola oil?
(610): you're an idiot.

(201): Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
(1-201): ok, come over...I have doritos

(513): I hate bills.
(479): Like ones you have to pay or people named William?

(479): Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...

(570): She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over

(540): I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.

(508): Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
(617): Where are you?
(508): Strip Club

(602 ): Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
(602): no jk, not my room

(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

(310): ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

(502): Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

(440): wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant

(727): He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.

(513): I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.

(808): no, he came in my armpit

(510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

(615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

(615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

(603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
(1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

Failblog and Other Notoriously Funny Videos

Barack Obama Talks to the Muslim World

As anticipated, Barack Obama's speech in Cairo this morning has sparked a blogging frenzy focused on whether or not there was a positive impact on the Muslim world.

Instead of adding to the redundancy, I would like to talk about the investment our President made today in a new Middle East.

In college, I was fortunate enough to take an introductory negotiations course that covered a variety of famous political, religious, financial, and emotionally charged arbitrations. Although it is unnecessary to go into course specifics, it has been interesting to watch Barack Obama productively utilize negotiation tactics when handling the Middle East. As somebody with a Jewish heritage, it has been frustrating watching many Israeli Jews and American Jews quickly becoming critical of our new president's strategy for a peaceful solution. All too often, I hear about how Barack Obama is straining our current relationship with Israel. Instead I would like somebody to consider frustrations as the"growing pains" necessary for us to move beyond prior convictions and work our way back up to a "clean slate."

The Bush administration may have supported Israel in every way imaginable, but 8 years later we can only say that they maintained a status quo in the region. More importantly, unwavering support for Israel cost the United States one of its previously greatest assets; the ability to mediate between nations. When I watched Barack Obama's speech today, I could not find fault with his praise for Muslim achievements and scrutinizing of Israel's occupation of lands negotiated on in prior treaties. While I do believe that Islamic extremists have caused Americans to become increasingly weary of the Muslim faith, our inability to differentiate between extremists and the main stream religion have added to the fire and set the grounds for a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Before Barack Obama can think about negotiating a peace deal in the Middle East, he must first become a negotiator in the eyes of those who live there. Over the past 2 years, recognized agreements have failed because citizens did not believe that their leaders were making decisions in their best interests. A real peace will only happen when the average citizen fully understands where the other side is coming from, what compromises they have made, and why they are willing to make them. Only then can Muslims and Jews talk "human to human" at the negotiating table.

Today Barack Obama invested in the Middle East by sowing the seeds that will allow him to become a formidable, reliable, unbiased (as much as any American can be), and informative negotiator for all people of the region. When both Muslim and Jew can refer to Barack Obama as a source for understanding, explaining, and compromise, maybe then a few settlements will REALLY be worth the security and prosperity from everlasting peace.

A break in Seriousness: Another Version of Twitter Comments

ohlynlyn: somehow lost a portion of my second toe last night. :-/ 4 minutes ago

Kimtacular: And this nose zit is threatening to block off one whole breathing passage.

LeighEdwards3: mold and mildew are all over me. going out into public to frighten the kids.

jmkraft: Wow President Obama opened his address to the Muslim world by saying "Asalaam Alaykum." Cheney must have soiled his pants.
TanyaEdwards27: oh geez... teacher emailed to tell me my son asked to buy boobs at student store!

Leija1983: The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

smnb_swear_god: shit stain

eyerait: #wtf Man arrested, accused of throwing metal object at Special Olympics kids: http://tinyurl.com/psanuo

emoqix: Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?" Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."

Obama and Michelle Obama's Date Night in New York City

Due to popular demand (Kate), I am making sure to address the controversial issue of Barack Obama's date night in New York City...

As somebody who often analyzes events from an economic and political standpoint, I realize that my interpretation is usually different than the main stream. I've read a few blogs on the issue of Barack Obama's date night in New York City and there seems to be two emerging views.

A) Since Barack Obama does so much for our country, has very little free time, and can not use commercial flights due to security restrictions, it is okay that he used Air Force One for leisure. It is a small price to pay for his service to America.

B) Barack Obama has no business traveling on Air Force One for leisure considering the fact that it is at the expense of the American taxpayer. Americans have had to cut down their spending habits immensely and our leader should follow suit. It is not fair for Obama to live lavishly and utilize such a privilege for a one night excursion when many Americans are losing their homes and rationing their resources.

My initial interpretation on the issue was based on economic fundamentals. Regardless of whether or not you support Barack Obama, it is a FACT that his presence in any retail venue becomes an instant "stimulus plan" for the owners and employees. I waited a few days to write this because I wanted to find articles supporting my initial interpretation (see below). As I presumed, Broadway ticket sales for 'Joe Turner's Come and Gone' have skyrocketed thanks to President Obama's visit last week. Although previously suffering in ticket sales, the show for now, can safely go on. When you calculate the increased ticket sales and the multiplier effect of consumer spending, I would not be surprised if the net cost of the flight on Air Force One (security etc.) is in the negative. Truth be told, fear of our economic decline will only yield to it becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. While I personally, do not have money to spend, the "value" lost in the stock market over the past year and a half was only moved from the public market to a private savings account. I realize this is an oversimplification, but I'm trying to emphasize that our stock market tanked because people were "cashing in on their investments." Motivating these people to spend is the best way to increase all of our livelihoods.

So while I do in fact also believe that our president deserves a night out every once in a while, I also want to mention that he forfeited his $100,000 stipend to redecorate the White House and instead is paying for it out of pocket. In my mind, this is a very important point that was rarely mentioned on mainstream news (Fox did you mention this at all?). It is not Barack Obama's fault that he lives with the real threat of assassination every day of his life. Without Air Force One, the role of President would become a position of social enslavement. As we have the witness protection and refugee programs, it is only fair to accommodate so that one can live their lives without losing their innate freedoms. I would be a hypocrite not to support Barack Obama's visit to New York. If I should ever become so lucky as to serve as President, I would expect to enjoy the same American past times such as going on vacation, seeing my child play a soccer game, or visiting Broadway every now and again.

"President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle had a date night in New York City this past Saturday night, and the centerpiece of their evening out was a Broadway show. The Obamas visited the Belasco Theatre in Times Square, taking in the Tony Award-nominated Broadway revival of August Wilson's play Joe Turner's Come and Gone. The audience at the performance was delighted to have the Commander-in-Chief in attendance with them, and they weren't the only audiences affected by the Obamas' Broadway visit. The press coverage of the First Couple at the show proved to be phenomenal publicity for Joe Turner's Come and Gone, which was struggling with ticket sales. According to the New York Post, Joe Turner's sold three times as many tickets as usual on the day after the President and First Lady attended the play. Now if only a few other troubled Broadway shows could entice the leader of the free world and his wife to show up for a visit ..."
- nytix.com

The Art of the Insult

Over the past 2 weeks or so I would say I have began to emerge myself into the blogosphere. It is a fascinating emerging industry where the cumulative potential of distributive cognition will someday yield an intelligence capability beyond any living individual human being. At the same time, the Internet provides a veil of anonymity that too many people use to demoralize opposing views and initiate personal attacks on others.

I've visited quite a few blogs now and I am alarmed by the ratio of productive active participation to unsubstantiated middle-school level put downs. Maybe the blogosphere will develop into some sort of emotional crutch for people who measure their value based on how many instigated "word wars" they can win, and how many people they can leave sitting at their computers wishing they had never left a comment at all. I hope over time we can figure out a way to condone, disassociate with, and sort through the verbal clutter. It would be a tragedy if those who contribute something supporting human maturation and development go unnoticed by those who have the mental sophistication to lead in their designated fields. It is selfish to use the social medium for the purpose of labeling a sole individual as a "moron," "idiot," "asshole," etc. It is all too likely that the final product of our inputs will look nothing like the initial framework and assumptions we originally asserted ourselves on. We should just be honest with ourselves and realize that is more valuable to "know what you do not know," rather than to rely only on acquired knowledge and attempt to add pertinent value in a dynamic world from a mentally static position. If I ever become that cocky, I obviously won't admit it (duh), but I will no longer be a contributing member of our society.