ohlynlyn: somehow lost a portion of my second toe last night. :-/ 4 minutes ago
Kimtacular: And this nose zit is threatening to block off one whole breathing passage.
LeighEdwards3: mold and mildew are all over me. going out into public to frighten the kids.
jmkraft: Wow President Obama opened his address to the Muslim world by saying "Asalaam Alaykum." Cheney must have soiled his pants.
TanyaEdwards27: oh geez... teacher emailed to tell me my son asked to buy boobs at student store!
Leija1983: The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
smnb_swear_god: shit stain
eyerait: #wtf Man arrested, accused of throwing metal object at Special Olympics kids: http://tinyurl.com/psanuo
emoqix: Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?" Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."
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