A break in Seriousness: Another Version of Twitter Comments

ohlynlyn: somehow lost a portion of my second toe last night. :-/ 4 minutes ago

Kimtacular: And this nose zit is threatening to block off one whole breathing passage.

LeighEdwards3: mold and mildew are all over me. going out into public to frighten the kids.

jmkraft: Wow President Obama opened his address to the Muslim world by saying "Asalaam Alaykum." Cheney must have soiled his pants.
TanyaEdwards27: oh geez... teacher emailed to tell me my son asked to buy boobs at student store!

Leija1983: The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

smnb_swear_god: shit stain

eyerait: #wtf Man arrested, accused of throwing metal object at Special Olympics kids: http://tinyurl.com/psanuo

emoqix: Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?" Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."

Today's Top Twitter Comments

frankschultelad: I'm feeling suicidal. Maybe I should've accepted that invitation to go hunting with Dick Cheney.

b0wenarrow: Your like the itch that wont scratch... But guess who got a new cactus.


aloria: developing a mathematical model of the increase in fecal odor over time in a pure coprophagous diet. proceed in telling me how weird i am.


michaelpasaoa: can i come over your place, shit in your toilet..and not flush it?

Julizt: What seeds were used for seedless grapes?

DannyRapture777: its a nice day out. I think im gonna play some guitar outside.. hopefully my neighbors dont bitch.. last time he threw a spatula NO LIE


p55330: RT @juliaallison: Penguins can projectile poop up to 7 feet.

DrunksTeXT: (734) I don't want to have a conversation with u that started "We need to talk" It's been over...You cheated on me, I banged ur sister. Even.

BrettCoppol: @amanda_nan I HATE moist!!!

PriyaRunchal: I just shoplifted by accident from rite aid. I owe them $7.50 plus my dignity. half a minute ago from TwitterBerry

dressedinlove: @Fennerz yo benjumin. dont u have to have overies and a womb to be pregnant? maybe im wrong.... u craving anything unusual?

acidicice: Not my day. Just came across my old positive pregnancy test while looking for antacids.