frankschultelad: I'm feeling suicidal. Maybe I should've accepted that invitation to go hunting with Dick Cheney. 
b0wenarrow: Your like the itch that wont scratch... But guess who got a new cactus.
aloria: developing a mathematical model of the increase in fecal odor over time in a pure coprophagous diet. proceed in telling me how weird i am. 
michaelpasaoa: can i come over your place, shit in your toilet..and not flush it? Julizt: What seeds were used for seedless grapes?
DannyRapture777: its a nice day out. I think im gonna play some guitar outside.. hopefully my neighbors dont bitch.. last time he threw a spatula NO LIE
p55330: RT @juliaallison: Penguins can projectile poop up to 7 feet.
DrunksTeXT: (734) I don't want to have a conversation with u that started "We need to talk" It's been over...You cheated on me, I banged ur sister. Even.
BrettCoppol: @amanda_nan I HATE moist!!!
PriyaRunchal: I just shoplifted by accident from rite aid. I owe them $7.50 plus my dignity. dressedinlove: @Fennerz yo benjumin. dont u have to have overies and a womb to be pregnant? maybe im wrong.... u craving anything unusual?
acidicice: Not my day. Just came across my old positive pregnancy test while looking for antacids. 
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